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The weather this week has been beautiful, and I've been trying to spend more time outside. Misty and I have been taking more walks, and I've been stretching and doing leg lifts and such when I can. I still haven't been hungry, but when I do eat I try and go with healthy choices like baby carrots and such.
I did slide back a little on Thursday when I traveled to Kenosha for a meeting. I drank a 20 oz bottle of Mountain Dew in a 3 hour period, drank a large bottle of water, and many glasses of unsweetened iced tea for most of the night. I stayed up until 4am-ish, then gave up and stayed awake the rest of the day. I got home at about 5pm, then slept to 9am the next day. I can't seem to sleep past 9am, and that's a good thing. The horses would get pissed at me otherwise.
Weight this morning was 186.4. I think I'm bloating a little as it's coming up on that time of the month, so we'll see how things go this week and stuff...
Ostara was Saturday, and to celebrate my live in sister-by choice and I went to a 'mind, body, spirit' type fair in New Lisbon. It was smallish, but had some cool vendors. I got my cards read by someone other than my live-in sister-by choice (from now on SBC1), and they weren't too far off. I guess I'm supposed to be getting going on my businesses, and focusing on the stable first and the photography second. Don't know if that's practical, but we'll see. When given their names she said that SBC2 is a hinderance but managable, but SBC1 (who was with me) is a major problem. When SBC1, who was not introduced to the reader by name, asked if she was a problem or a help, the reader said 'a big help', so I'm taking her reading with a grain of salt. She never mentioned my love life, or lack of it, so I'm going to guess it wasn't important or it's always going to be non-existant.
I haven't really been hungry this week, but I have tried to make good decisions when I do eat. For some reason I've been craving leafy greens, broccoli, oranges, and yogurt. It must be a Spring thing. I'm trying to get walking more, and the belly dancing in the morning is still touch and go. I haven't noticed much difference in my shape, but my pants do seem to fit better.
Weight this morning: 187.6 Yay!
This will be a short post, I'll update on Monday to keep on schedule.
I didn't post this past Monday because, well, I ran away. I really needed to go, leave, do something away from home. Something that didn't involve my well meaning but nosy neighbor that's a bit in love with me. Away from my two sisters by choice, who care but tend to smother and take advantage of my good nature. Away from my absent-minded, unintentionally callous soon to be ex husband and the disaster area that is his shop space. Away from the daily chores that I should be enjoying, but I end up doing the bare essentials because I'm frustrated with everything: barn, pastures, house, animals, business... everything.
So I ran in all directions trying to find peace. I found a bit, and I was happy. Then I had to come back home, and what happened next I didn't expect.
I hurt. Emotionally, like I could feel again. Not the muted 'oh I'm happy' or 'that's really sad' type of stuff, but open the flood gates, tears on the keyboard type stuff. I haven't felt like that since my heart was smashed into tiny pieces years ago. It was like I was sleeping and dreaming, and someone kissed me awake and brought me back to life. I think somehow the wall that I built around my heart cracked a little.
It's not a good feeling, but it's a start. It means I'm not totally broken, that someday maybe I'll love again. That I can let down my guard and I'll be okay. It also means that I'll hurt more when bad things happen, but I think I'm okay with that. There's a phrase from a song that says 'I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all'. I understood it, but never really gave it much credit. I mean, who wants to hurt? I get it now. I realize now how much I was missing without emotion.
Anyway, back to the blog. I'll pick up again on Monday, with weights and stuff. And things. To whoever reads this besides me, have a great weekend.
I've decided to do a weekly update to track the changes in my habits, weight, and endurance. I'm hoping that this will help me get more motivated and figure out what works and what doesn't.
I've been eating somewhat better this past week, but I'm having trouble arranging my schedule to get more activity worked in. The first two days I got up at 7am, fed horses, came in and did a 30 minute belly dance basics workout, ate breakfast, went back out to turn out the horses and feed hay, then cleaned stalls. The rest of the time I cleaned house and worked on the computer.
It was going well until day 3 when I got cramps. I managed to do chores and clean stalls, but then curled up in a tiny ball for the rest of the day. The next day I didn't get up until 8am, and the morning routine was pretty much broken for the rest of the week. I did keep my activity up during the day, though I haven't been walking the block yet I have been walking the stairs a lot.
I've also been watching what I eat, and how much. I've been eating more fruit and yogurt and drinking more water. My energy has its ups and downs, but I think that may even out once I get into a better pattern.
It's been easy going to movies. Jac gets a large popcorn, and I get a little bag and take a couple of handfuls for myself. We started doing this a while ago because she likes to put a lot of flavored topping on it, and I'm not a fan of the flavors she chooses. The meal deal we get includes a large soda, and she only really drinks Pepsi, so that's a bit of a problem that I haven't worked out yet. This last time I just didn't drink as much of it, but I'd like to avoid the temptation in the future.
In spite of all of this, I'm down to 192 lbs. It's probably water weight, but any loss is motivating. My goals for this coming week are to plan a workable exercise schedule and make more home made meals.
Mother Nature has been kind to us for the past week. Beautiful sunny days, blue skies, mild temps in the upper 30's with the promise of warmer weather next week (mid 40's yay!).
The horses are enjoying it as much, if not more, than I am. They're racing, bucking, wandering more of the pasture, stretching out to bask in the sun, and shedding like there's no tomorrow.
In fact, one of my indicators that Spring is coming is when I walk out to the pasture in a brown barn jacket, and come back to the house wearing a multi-color fur coat. It can happen just by brushing up next to them, suddenly you're covered head to toe in horse hair. It will get worse once I break out the rubber curry, as everyone will be lining up and chasing others off to get scratched. There are times I wish I had kids, or at least horse crazy neighbor kids, willing to help with all the grooming and barn cleaning, as it can be so hard to keep up some days.
It's March 1st, and while there's still snow on the ground, you can feel that Spring is on its way. The sun is out, birds are singing, and the horses are starting to shed. There's a scent in the air that promises green grass and warmer days coming, and I can't wait.
With the coming of Spring, my thoughts turn to show and riding season. My list of goals in the side bar mostly deals with horses and riding, but I won't be able to accomplish most of them if I don't work on goal number 8: lose weight and get in shape. I'm currently 194 lbs, and at 5'4" that's around 60 lbs more than I should weigh. I also have no endurance and very little muscle tone in my core. This of course is a pain in the neck (and the back, knees, ankles, etc...), so I've decided to start up my work out routine again.
I'm starting out slow and easy so I don't hurt myself, especially since my back has been twitchy lately. I have a belly dance basic moves exercise DVD that is low impact with lots of stretching and isolations that I'll do every morning in the break between feeding the horses and turning them out. Once I can get through the whole routine without getting winded and overheated, I'll switch to another DVD.
After the morning workout, I'll finish horse chores and clean the barn (muck stalls, sweep cobwebs, scrub and fill water buckets and tanks, etc...), come in and clean the house, and then I get to rest and work in the office for a while
In the afternoon I'll be walking, starting with a short distance at first and working up to walking around the whole block, which is about 4 miles, give or take. I'd like to jog eventually, but I need to either lose weight in my bodice area first (I'm a 38 DD) or invest (and I do mean invest) in a high impact sport bra. It's so hard to find a really good sport bra for big chested women that actually fits well. You certainly can't find them at Wal-Mart.
I'll also be changing my eating habits, much to my roommate's dismay. I'm still researching meal plans, but I want to eat more fruits and veggies, drink more water, cut back on refined sugars, and avoid white flour pastas and breads. It means meal planning and organized grocery shopping, but it needs to be done. I'm planning my veggie garden for this summer, so that should help with the grocery costs and give me more variety.
That's the plan so far. I'll be blogging to track of my progress and to help me stay on course. And I'll try to have actual horse related news and updates as well!
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