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So, I was sick pretty much all week. Not in the vomiting, head cold sort of way, but the jumpy tummy, nothing solid through the colon sort of way. I think it may have been food poisoning, but my neighbor thinks it could have been the flu. If it was the flu, it's the weirdest I've seen. So I pretty much ate saltines and chicken broth, drank water and Pedialite (yuck!), took charcoal caps, and walked around like a zombie for most of the week. Fun. Needless to say, I didn't get in much exercise.
The charity photo sessions at CWC went well, even if I wasn't. There were a total of 6 customers Thursday and Friday, and I was asked to come in on Saturday too for a couple of sessions. I had a mini meltdown Saturday morning, but got better as the day went on (kitties and bunnies and good friends texting you does wonders).
After the open house was done, SBC1 kidnapped me for the rest of the day. We did some shopping, then picked up a friend and headed for Wausau. I had won a gift certificate to Tangos a couple of months ago, and still had some left, so we all had steak! Then we went to see The Losers, and I loved it! Lots of explosions and eye candy. We got home at 2am, and I eventually fell asleep.
Weight yesterday was 183.2.
Last week had me traveling to the Burlington area on Wednesday. I stayed in Kenosha for the night, and Thursday I helped a friend dig up some hostas, daylillies and irises, which I now have to find a place for and get them in the ground. I went to lunch with my mom, to a nice authentic Mexican place in Burlington. I attended a meeting in Kenosha that night, and it was as fun as always.
Saturday, SBC1 and I were planning to go to the Midwest Horse Fair, but decided not to go because money is tight and I haven't been feeling well. My period finally started on the 14th, and it went a little longer than normal, with a little more cramping. I'm glad the appointment is next week!
Sunday was another band photo shoot for Snakes and Sparklers. It was a little more difficult, the lighting was worse and I was trying to get more creative. I think I got a couple good shots though. I didn't eat supper, as I wasn't hungry, but I did drink 4 cans of Dew and ate some sushi. I'm thinking I shouldn't have, as it still seems to be disagreeing with me. I also didn't get home until 2:30 am, and didn't get to sleep until 4:30, so that may also be part of the problem.
My weight yesterday was 185.2. My weight today, according to the nice lady who took my vital information for health insurance, was 175. I like her scale better. I'm walking more, but I'm still not eating much.
I didn't do much traveling this week, most of it was spent updating my website and redesigning my business cards. I did take a walk to the end of the block and back, and I've been setting an alarm so I take more breaks from the computer. I've been eating a lot more veggies, though fried foods have really been calling to me. I've also been craving hot and sour soup from Shaw Lee.
SBC 1 and I went to Parsons Trading Post in Wisconsin Dells on Saturday to get a dreamcatcher for a friend in need. I got a map and directions from Mapquest, so of course we got lost. We ended up stoping at MooseJaw for food and directions. I had the cajun chicken sandwich and SBC 1 had the BLT of course. Both were excellent, but we agreed that next time we'll try the pizza.
We found Parsons after that, and spent a long time browsing and trying to decide which dreamcatcher to get. I think I got the right one, I like it at least...
After that, we drove down and parked in our usual spot and walked the strip. We stopped at the Wizards Quest gift shop where SBC 1 got a crystal ball and stand and a flattened penny, and I of course got a fortune from the 'gyspy' fortune telling machine. We walked down to the gem panning shop, but got there too late. The Big Dogs store was gone, which was another disappointment. It was a good walk though, and I was feeling it a little by the time we got back to the car.
My weight yesterday morning was 186.4.
I was asked by a friend if I could come down this past Saturday to Libertyville, IL. He was filming an event and was hoping I could take some promotional pics for him and some documentary type pics for the organizer of the event. I said sure, even though it was a 3+ hour trip and I probably wasn't going to get paid. I was looking for an excuse to get out again, and I was so glad I went. I had a great time, hung out with fun people, laughed a lot, and slept in a clean, peaceful room for a couple of days. Total bliss, and my idea of a great mini vacation.
On the negative side, I weighed in at 188.4 this afternoon. I still haven't had my period yet, but I'm not totally worried as I don't really cycle regularly. I am, however, scheduled for a GYN appointment at the end of the month, so maybe I can get stuff figured out.
The weather this week has been beautiful, and I've been trying to spend more time outside. Misty and I have been taking more walks, and I've been stretching and doing leg lifts and such when I can. I still haven't been hungry, but when I do eat I try and go with healthy choices like baby carrots and such.
I did slide back a little on Thursday when I traveled to Kenosha for a meeting. I drank a 20 oz bottle of Mountain Dew in a 3 hour period, drank a large bottle of water, and many glasses of unsweetened iced tea for most of the night. I stayed up until 4am-ish, then gave up and stayed awake the rest of the day. I got home at about 5pm, then slept to 9am the next day. I can't seem to sleep past 9am, and that's a good thing. The horses would get pissed at me otherwise.
Weight this morning was 186.4. I think I'm bloating a little as it's coming up on that time of the month, so we'll see how things go this week and stuff...
Ostara was Saturday, and to celebrate my live in sister-by choice and I went to a 'mind, body, spirit' type fair in New Lisbon. It was smallish, but had some cool vendors. I got my cards read by someone other than my live-in sister-by choice (from now on SBC1), and they weren't too far off. I guess I'm supposed to be getting going on my businesses, and focusing on the stable first and the photography second. Don't know if that's practical, but we'll see. When given their names she said that SBC2 is a hinderance but managable, but SBC1 (who was with me) is a major problem. When SBC1, who was not introduced to the reader by name, asked if she was a problem or a help, the reader said 'a big help', so I'm taking her reading with a grain of salt. She never mentioned my love life, or lack of it, so I'm going to guess it wasn't important or it's always going to be non-existant.
I haven't really been hungry this week, but I have tried to make good decisions when I do eat. For some reason I've been craving leafy greens, broccoli, oranges, and yogurt. It must be a Spring thing. I'm trying to get walking more, and the belly dancing in the morning is still touch and go. I haven't noticed much difference in my shape, but my pants do seem to fit better.
Weight this morning: 187.6 Yay!
This will be a short post, I'll update on Monday to keep on schedule.
I didn't post this past Monday because, well, I ran away. I really needed to go, leave, do something away from home. Something that didn't involve my well meaning but nosy neighbor that's a bit in love with me. Away from my two sisters by choice, who care but tend to smother and take advantage of my good nature. Away from my absent-minded, unintentionally callous soon to be ex husband and the disaster area that is his shop space. Away from the daily chores that I should be enjoying, but I end up doing the bare essentials because I'm frustrated with everything: barn, pastures, house, animals, business... everything.
So I ran in all directions trying to find peace. I found a bit, and I was happy. Then I had to come back home, and what happened next I didn't expect.
I hurt. Emotionally, like I could feel again. Not the muted 'oh I'm happy' or 'that's really sad' type of stuff, but open the flood gates, tears on the keyboard type stuff. I haven't felt like that since my heart was smashed into tiny pieces years ago. It was like I was sleeping and dreaming, and someone kissed me awake and brought me back to life. I think somehow the wall that I built around my heart cracked a little.
It's not a good feeling, but it's a start. It means I'm not totally broken, that someday maybe I'll love again. That I can let down my guard and I'll be okay. It also means that I'll hurt more when bad things happen, but I think I'm okay with that. There's a phrase from a song that says 'I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all'. I understood it, but never really gave it much credit. I mean, who wants to hurt? I get it now. I realize now how much I was missing without emotion.
Anyway, back to the blog. I'll pick up again on Monday, with weights and stuff. And things. To whoever reads this besides me, have a great weekend.
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